Nothing can bring you peace, but yourself
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I don't know if Ralph actually said that. I just know I found it on Pinterest, and I like it. I like words. They give me hope.
Spring break was last week. It was perfect. Now I'm back to real life, and I'm spiraling. Downhill. Fast. With tears. The tears started today. Around 11:30.
I'm being dramatic. Obviously.
I don't care. I'm done caring what you think.
I'm still being dramatic. Obviously.
We're just different people. And I don't think you'll ever understand. I'm sure that'll leave to an inevitable goodbye. I'll try to prepare for that.
The dramatics are just going to continue, so feel free to stop reading. Now.
Love is a strange thing. Family is a strange thing. I don't know if I want either. Both lead to broken hearts. I can live with my heart whole. Thank you very much.
I've been thinking a lot lately. About who I am and who I want to be. How people perceive me and how far from reality that really is. And how little perceivers care about reality...or me.
But, let me just say. I've been eating like shit, going on two weeks now. Eating like shit makes me feel like shit. It also makes my clothes not fit. I think I do it to punish myself. I'm sorry, self. I'll stop now.
Exercising makes me feel excellent. Happiness makes me feel excellent.
You can't make me feel ashamed of who I am. You can't make me say the angry words I want to say. I am not you.
I am going to make myself happy. Because I am happy. I am going to continue being a wanderer. Because I am a dreamer. I am not you.
I am going to make mistakes. I am going to learn from those mistakes. Then, possibly, I will make the same mistake again.
I am going to cry. I am going to laugh. I am going to be sad. I am going to be happy. I am going to sleep. Because I love sleep. You hate that I love sleep.
I am going to look better than you. Just to spite you.
I'll do what you ask. Because I love you. But it stops today.
And today it begins.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I don't know if Ralph actually said that. I just know I found it on Pinterest, and I like it. I like words. They give me hope.
Spring break was last week. It was perfect. Now I'm back to real life, and I'm spiraling. Downhill. Fast. With tears. The tears started today. Around 11:30.
I'm being dramatic. Obviously.
I don't care. I'm done caring what you think.
I'm still being dramatic. Obviously.
We're just different people. And I don't think you'll ever understand. I'm sure that'll leave to an inevitable goodbye. I'll try to prepare for that.
The dramatics are just going to continue, so feel free to stop reading. Now.
Love is a strange thing. Family is a strange thing. I don't know if I want either. Both lead to broken hearts. I can live with my heart whole. Thank you very much.
I've been thinking a lot lately. About who I am and who I want to be. How people perceive me and how far from reality that really is. And how little perceivers care about reality...or me.
But, let me just say. I've been eating like shit, going on two weeks now. Eating like shit makes me feel like shit. It also makes my clothes not fit. I think I do it to punish myself. I'm sorry, self. I'll stop now.
Exercising makes me feel excellent. Happiness makes me feel excellent.
You can't make me feel ashamed of who I am. You can't make me say the angry words I want to say. I am not you.
I am going to make myself happy. Because I am happy. I am going to continue being a wanderer. Because I am a dreamer. I am not you.
I am going to make mistakes. I am going to learn from those mistakes. Then, possibly, I will make the same mistake again.
I am going to cry. I am going to laugh. I am going to be sad. I am going to be happy. I am going to sleep. Because I love sleep. You hate that I love sleep.
I am going to look better than you. Just to spite you.
I'll do what you ask. Because I love you. But it stops today.
And today it begins.
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