Ok, I'm going to give it a whirl.
Marriages. Weddings. Husband. Wife. Forever.
I think one of the most magical things I have ever experienced was Kaleb and Kathleen's first dance. I wasn't close to the dance floor and I really didn't have a very good view of the two of them, but "After the Storm", by Mumford and Sons came on...I think I was actually walking away from the dance floor when the song started and I turned around. And it was just....magical. The song is beautiful, and it was dusk, and I really do believe Kaleb and Kathleen love each other.
It's hard to say why my heart is turning. I don't know if it's because Kaleb's wedding has passed, Kaitlin's is coming up, and Mary's talks of engagement--do I just want to be in the same phase of life as all my favorite people? Am I wishful? Jealous? Lonely? Or just willing to believe fairytales do exist?
I know I've alluded at least once to John and my conversation over Christmas, and to sum it up, it went as such:
Katri: Marriage is an unrealistic commitment that most people regret.
John: Marriage is hard, but worth it.
K, that is a very quick summation of how the conversation, but you get the gist of it. It's very hard for me to believe it is wise to decide you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone when you haven't even begun to live. Right now I think I do believe in marriage and do want to spend forever with someone, however I have little faith in my ability to wisely make that decision. Also, I have little faith in humanity that there is someone out there that will not bore me, or get bored of me. For some reason, in my head, marriage is the end of life. I really don't mean that to sound as morbid as it came off, but.....I'll have to continue these thoughts another day. I'm seesawing.
I just don't want to ever lose myself in somebody else.
People around me make me believe in love. Their love, if nothing else.
I mean, if Harry Potter is real, why not Love.
Also, I've just decided to underline and quote every single title, because I just don't know what I'm doing.
Thank you and goodnight.
Marriages. Weddings. Husband. Wife. Forever.
I think one of the most magical things I have ever experienced was Kaleb and Kathleen's first dance. I wasn't close to the dance floor and I really didn't have a very good view of the two of them, but "After the Storm", by Mumford and Sons came on...I think I was actually walking away from the dance floor when the song started and I turned around. And it was just....magical. The song is beautiful, and it was dusk, and I really do believe Kaleb and Kathleen love each other.
It's hard to say why my heart is turning. I don't know if it's because Kaleb's wedding has passed, Kaitlin's is coming up, and Mary's talks of engagement--do I just want to be in the same phase of life as all my favorite people? Am I wishful? Jealous? Lonely? Or just willing to believe fairytales do exist?
I know I've alluded at least once to John and my conversation over Christmas, and to sum it up, it went as such:
Katri: Marriage is an unrealistic commitment that most people regret.
John: Marriage is hard, but worth it.
K, that is a very quick summation of how the conversation, but you get the gist of it. It's very hard for me to believe it is wise to decide you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone when you haven't even begun to live. Right now I think I do believe in marriage and do want to spend forever with someone, however I have little faith in my ability to wisely make that decision. Also, I have little faith in humanity that there is someone out there that will not bore me, or get bored of me. For some reason, in my head, marriage is the end of life. I really don't mean that to sound as morbid as it came off, but.....I'll have to continue these thoughts another day. I'm seesawing.
I just don't want to ever lose myself in somebody else.
People around me make me believe in love. Their love, if nothing else.
I mean, if Harry Potter is real, why not Love.
Also, I've just decided to underline and quote every single title, because I just don't know what I'm doing.
Thank you and goodnight.
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