Juice, it's what's for dinner

Smoothies, not juice.

My juicing did not go as planned. I lasted about eight hours drinking, what turned out to be shakes. I don't have the self control, or perhaps the drive, to just drink things for three days--or one day.

However, it was not a complete failure. I've continued to drink shakes, and they help my digestive system immensely. I'm almost pooping daily now. Almost. And I do feel better.

Mostly I just put a ton of spinach and kale in the shake, a frozen banana--or two, some almond butter (or dark chocolate almond butter). I've bought some other frozen fruits to add, fresh berries are too expensive. If I ever get to whole foods I will get some protein powder. But, I haven't done that. Sometimes I get serious fits of wanting to throw up, and I've been told it's probably because I'm dumping sugar into my body and I'm getting hyper-glycemic. Something like that, anyway.

The shakes are always green, rarely look appetizing. But, for the most part taste great. I'm the least healthy person in the whole world when it comes to my diet....but, I'll work on that.

I was a bit afraid this was going to cause me to gain weight, because of all the sugar and carbs, but I've actually lost two pounds. I think it's from the pooping.

So, that's that.

:)

Also, I quit my other job.

Let me tell you, having a day off does a lot for mental breakdowns. I'm still a terrible person, and deserve a good punch in the face 62% of the time....but I'm better.

I still haven't started exercising........ooopsies.

It's November--and I'm thankful

Today and everyday I am thankful for:

-my two beautiful parents
-my three brothers, who are generally more beautiful than me
-my two perfect sister's-in-law, who are always more beautiful that me--and who have become my best friends
-my perfect boyfriend, who treats me far better than I deserve
-my cousin, Mary, who is far smarter and more beautiful than me
-my entire extended family
-all my friends, even if you're not related to me
-every animal in the whole wide world...even mountain lions
-Colorado, and its beautiful weather
-I am thankful for the outdoors
-my car, who gets treated like actual poop, but continues to drive down the road
-Christmas
-seasons
-the Harry Potter series, Mists of Avalon, Beach Music, and every book I've ever read
-music
-good food
-Indian food
-the fashion world
-being born in America
-being raised to understand that just because I was born in America, I am no better than anyone born in any other country
-science
-batman onesies
-my job, and the people I work with
-chocolate
-the chance to dream
-my parents' beautiful house, and the house next door to them that they let me live in

I'm thankful for everything and anything that has helped me become the person I am today. I'm a lucky person who is spoiled by everyone in my life. And I am thankful for that.

I'm thankful for fluffy things. Like cats. And dogs. And skunks.

Indeed, balance. Needed.

I have had several mental break downs in the last month and a half and I have had enough. I can't remember if I said in my last post, but I have taken another job, at a salon (I'll go into that in another post most likely), I am still working at the jewelry store, and I'm going to school. And I'm tired. Sorry if that is repetitive, but I don't care. I'm tired.

I'm tired of waking up and barely making it to the shower (sometimes not making it to the shower and still going to work). I'm tired of having zero energy. I'm tired of going to bed at 8 o'clock. I'm tired of my clothes not fitting. I'm tired of being a bitch to the people I love. I'm tired of having zero energy to do anything when my boyfriend is in town. I'm tired.

I'm just tired.

And I have finally had enough. 

So, here was my last delicious, deliciously unhealthy meal, for a while. I read a blog about juicing, and the girls at the salon are constantly doing some new health fad......so, because the girl at xojane.com did not seem insane or obnoxiously "going with the trend" I have decided to try. 

Boyfriend convinced me to buy a nutribullet and so begins my first journey into the cooking land. Ya, I don't cook. I microwave. And I only microwave if everything is premade and ready for me to stick in the microwave. The most I have ever done is boil some eggs. When I'm healthy I eat a lot of eggs and almonds and cheese and clementines and bananas. When I am unhealthy (like now) I eat a lot of easy mac and Little India and McDonalds and anything else easy, greasy, and delicious. I never cook anything. And I know you may not think of blending as cooking, but I don't want to hear about it. If you know me, you understand. If you don't understand. I am sorry.  I went to the store and didn't have to ask anyone anything--other than for a lb of cashews, which I had to do. I ended up spending around $100 dollars, but to be fair I didn't have anything. I had to buy absolutely everything on the list and had no patience to look for the best deal--going back to being tired.....keep your thoughts to yourself (I can keep complaining about my money issues all I want)

It probably only took me an hour to get these babies done....however, it felt like forever. But, I only messed up one recipe.....that makes me proud. But, I probably messed them up more than I've reliased. but I don't care. Also, I'm doing it a little differently than the post I read. But we'll see how I feel at the end of it. 

I am going to try to do this for sure for three days (I bought six days worth of shake groceries). Day four there are halloween parties and we'll see how I feel. Then I want to start drinking shakes for breakfast. I will start exercising on Sunday. I would start now....but I want to see how this stuff makes me feel. Wish me luck. I'll let you know. 

Finding Balance**

It's now fall; there is snow in the weather for tomorrow. And life is a moving.

I'm back in school. I set my schedule up a little differently this semester. I have classes on Tuesday's and Thursday's and do not work on those days. I also took one weekend class, which is over. Thank the Baby J.

I like not having to work on Tuesday's and Thursday's, but my bank account is less than a fan.

So, here is my life:

Sometime around last spring I decided to stop being financially responsible and I am now having to deal with those choices.

Life is great right now; and then I look at my bank account. I have taken a second job to try to deal with those woes. It doesn't make me happy.

I'm trying to get back into work out mode, which is going decently well. But, boy, do I love incredibly unhealthy food. Sooooooo, ya.

So here it is:  I have two jobs, go to school full time, and am working on being healthy again.

I'm still alive and still happy.

James lives in Houston. I miss him.

I'll do a better update.......someday. No promises it'll be soon.






Also, I miss Neville. 

The Summer.

It's fall. I failed, yet again, to keep you updated on my life.

My summer was perfect. It was possibly one of the more difficult summers of my life, for several reasons. But, not worth talking about. As a whole, it was perfect. The kind of summer I would dream about.

Here's what I did:

-I spent a weekend in New York City.
-I went to Boston for the 4th of July.
-I spent a week in Albany.
-I drove to Niagara Falls. And was not disappointed.
-I spent a weekend in Pittsburgh.
-I tried to go to Albany, but got stuck in Philadelphia.
-I went back to Albany (but really it was Schenectady all along).
**I did all of this with, to see, because of my boyfriend. Oh, I also got a boyfriend. His name is James.
-I went to Missouri to visit family.
-I went to Illinois to visit family.
-I got my ear pierced with family.
-I went to both of my brother's weddings.
-I went camping.
-I barely worked.

There is an unbelievable quick summation of the adventures I had this summer. In no was does it adequately express how wonderful of a summer it was, but I hope it gives you an idea.

This collage was an absolute horror to create. I made it a while ago, in August and it took me forever today to find it. I nearly imploded. There aren't any pictures of either of the pairs of newly weds, but this is a blog about me, so I'm going to let it slide.

after all this time?

Ok, I'm going to give it a whirl.

Marriages. Weddings. Husband. Wife. Forever.

I think one of the most magical things I have ever experienced was Kaleb and Kathleen's first dance. I wasn't close to the dance floor and I really didn't have a very good view of the two of them, but "After the Storm", by Mumford and Sons came on...I think I was actually walking away from the dance floor when the song started and I turned around. And it was just....magical. The song is beautiful, and it was dusk, and I really do believe Kaleb and Kathleen love each other.

It's hard to say why my heart is turning. I don't know if it's because Kaleb's wedding has passed, Kaitlin's is coming up, and Mary's talks of engagement--do I just want to be in the same phase of life as all my favorite people? Am I wishful? Jealous? Lonely? Or just willing to believe fairytales do exist?

I know I've alluded at least once to John and my conversation over Christmas, and to sum it up, it went as such:

Katri:  Marriage is an unrealistic commitment that most people regret.

John: Marriage is hard, but worth it.

K, that is a very quick summation of how the conversation, but you get the gist of it. It's very hard for me to believe it is wise to decide you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone when you haven't even begun to live. Right now I think I do believe in marriage and do want to spend forever with someone, however I have little faith in my ability to wisely make that decision. Also, I have little faith in humanity that there is someone out there that will not bore me, or get bored of me. For some reason, in my head, marriage is the end of life. I really don't mean that to sound as morbid as it came off, but.....I'll have to continue these thoughts another day. I'm seesawing.

I just don't want to ever lose myself in somebody else.

People around me make me believe in love. Their love, if nothing else.

I mean, if Harry Potter is real, why not Love.





Also, I've just decided to underline and quote every single title, because I just don't know what I'm doing.

Thank you and goodnight.

nice try, but I won't pass on this

I'm not going to lie....I'm at work and I have spent the last 1.5 hours watching "The Mindy Project", but to be fair, I am caught up on all my work and Tim isn't here to see if he has anything he wants me to do. Is that a good enough excuse, probably not. But, it happened and I'm not going to try to hide it. Are you supposed to underline the names of TV shows or put them in parenthesis? I'll just do both.

There, done. I'm glad Mary doesn't read my blog. Winkity.

Ok, I have no money...but I love Jimmy Johns. I need to permanently stop bringing my wallet to work. But apparently that's a bad idea because I need transmission fluid for my car...and if I didn't have my wallet I would not be able to pay for said transmission fluid.

I feel a bit ill after today's consumption of Jimmy Johns. But, it was delicious. I get the #6, which is the veggie sandwich. I get it without cheese and mayo and add vinegar  salt and pepper, and hot peppers. I know you were curious. Seriously though, I need to stop spending money. Also, I get a cookie and salt and vinegar chips...I'm a bit afraid the cookie is what is making me feel not so fantastic.

K. On to the last two weeks!

Kaleb and Kathleen are now husband and wife. Woof. Doesn't get much more serious than that.  It was a busy week and happy day. Now, I'm not going to lie, it wasn't how I imagine it would be. For whatever reason I imagined it would be like a giant camping trip. It was not. Basically, what I am trying to say is the wedding was a lot of fun, but I didn't talk to/spend time with people like I thought I would be able to.

But, to sum the week up quickly, it went like this: JaneE's family got to CO on Wednesday, Thursday was bach/bachelorette parties, Friday was the rehearsal dinner, Saturday wedding! There just wasn't much down time....which is funny, because you would think there would be.

It was good to see everybody, even though it was for such a short while. I am so happy for Kaleb and Kathleen. It was a successful wedding/week!

Kaitlin's bridal shower was last weekend. It's crazy to think her wedding is so soon! Her bachelorette party is July 13th and I feel like that is just around the corner. It was nice/weird to go back to Idalia for the party. It's always strange going back there. I still think of it as my home, but feel like such an outsider these days.

Sorry I'm shooting thoughts out so unfluidly-like. But again, be glad I'm writing.

Tomorrow is Mommy's birthday. I need to pack. I need to pick up a present. I need a fluffy cat.

I leave on Friday and will be gone for 2 weeks. Woof.

James is his name. Giving names. Woof. I know.

I really do need to reflect on this wedding/marriage/forever stuff, like I said I would. But my thoughts keep changing. I keep going back to the conversation John and I had over Christmas and I just want to write stuff down as my opinion continues to change. I'll try to do that in August, after Joby and Kaitlin get married.

I have so many things to say, but I'm struggling focusing on one subject long enough to really say anything. I apologize for that.

For the record, I'm kind of excited for classes to start back up. But, not too excited. I want this summer to continue for a long time.

I'll try to post a more coherent post later this week. No promises.